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ameelia
Date: 02-11-2009 16:27
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:tired tired
god, life, reflections

A friend shared this with me today.  

As Abraham climbed up that mountain to sacrifice Isaac, he must have felt really down and out.  Each step he took must have been really hard.  And he even had to say things were ok when Isaac asked.

But what he didn't know was, each step that he took, there was a ram taking steps up the other side of the mountain, towards him.

I like that thought very much.

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ameelia
Date: 29-10-2009 08:30
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:reflective reflective

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you,

so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

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ameelia
Date: 23-10-2009 08:00
Subject: (no subject)
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Mood:thoughtful thoughtful

A chapter in my life closed yesterday.  Something that has been part of my life for 15 years came to a close.

I don't think I've ever closed anything so nicely before.  And I can claim no credit for it.  In fact, if I must say, I probably started it off quite wrongly.  The only thing I possibly did right was to voice it out, but I probably could have chosen a better way of executing it... My feeble excuse for the lousy way I did things is that I was completely overwhelmed with my life.  Things have been much better since the start of this week, but that's another story. 

I don't know how the rest felt, but I felt a sense of peace that God was part of the conversation and decision.  To begin with it was awkward.  I think such things can never feel pleasant.  But as we talked, it seemed to me that we were honest, no one felt they couldn't voice their own opinion, even if it was different from the rest.

Most importantly, we closed in prayer, acknowledging God's presence, seeking His continued guidance in each of our lives as we move forward.  It was a bittersweet moment.  We have grown much together, especially so in the past 2 years when we took time and effort to go on retreats, get to know God and get to know each other more.  There will be some of us who meet often, others not so often, but I'm sure we will continue to keep each other in prayer.

I came away thinking that if I was able to do everything in my life in this manner, keeping God in the center of what is being done, how much more appropriate that would be, and how much better the results will probably be too. 


On a slightly related note, I am very (very very!) thankful for my boss.  I shan't go into details here, but I just want to say that speaking to her this week has made such a difference.  I also feel lousy (and kind of stupid) for being such a pain to some people in my life in the past month, and thankful for the patience in the midst of my tantrums. 

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ameelia
Date: 19-10-2009 18:00
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:blank blank

I had one of those mornings where everything went wrong.

I woke up feeling like I could sleep for another year or 2.  Finally managed to get ready, but discovered a flat tyre.  I'm rubbish at dealing with car matters, my parents just left for holiday so I couldn't even ask my dad to help me... was dreading the thought of going by myself to get some air for the tyre.

Decided I was being v silly, so headed to petrol kiosk.  Tried repeatedly but machine kept giving beeps and having the words "Err 9".  Which I suppose meant error.... Was in hot sun and feeling v frustrated.  Decided to call petrol kiosk uncle and use "poor thing" voice.  He was quite kind, came to help.  Said my tyre too flat, need to press the other button...

While standing there watching him sort out my flat tyre, something landed on my shoulder, brushed at it but got stung and I yelped out loud!  Petrol kiosk uncle gave me a half amused, half pitiful look.  Said "小姐,你今天很倒霉, 我帮你pump 其它三个tyre lah!

I even asked him whether I should go see a doc.  Haha.  He showed me a bottle of medicated oil and said no need, just put this!

Story of my lousy morning.  Hope my car tyre still has enough air for me to get home after work today!


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ameelia
Date: 16-10-2009 08:30
Subject: green fingers??
Security: Public
Mood:restless restless


I have never really liked plants. Maybe cos I've never really tried growing anything, but it didn't strike me that I'd like watching a non-speaking green object that is doing nothing except sitting there.

This week, I happened to participate in this workshop because there were spare places. Took home a terrarium as a result of that workshop. And you won't believe it but every morning, I feel happy when I open the lid and take a peek at the small green plant. And turn on the desk lamp for it to be under some light.

Such a weird feeling. haha. Here's a pic of the pot that has provided a bit of joy the past few mornings :-)

Photobucket

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ameelia
Date: 14-10-2009 15:09
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:stressed stressed

what in the world is the matter???  i really wish i could get an extended time out from all this. 

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ameelia
Date: 09-10-2009 08:00
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:calm calm

It is FRIDAY :)

This week, I finished a work item that I've been procrastinating for the longest time ever.  And although it's far from done, at least for the moment I don't feel as dumb and useless as I've been feeling for the past few months. 

On top of that, I've made quite a huge decision (at least to me it is).  It's been brewing for the longest time and it just got to a point where I decided ok.  That's it.  I'm not sure I executed it in the best manner, but I think it will get sorted out in the next few months.

It's a really strange feeling (because I haven't felt this way for a long long time)... but when I take a step back and look at how things have been this week, I like it.  I still feel like I'm trying v hard to get out of this deep well, but I don't know why this week, something seems to have shifted.   And it can't be just because of the 1 huge decision I took.  It's not possible to be because of that alone, but it's somehow linked.  Possibly also linked to the fact I took a baby step up that seemingly huge mountain at work. 

Perhaps things were already slowly getting there and this week it all just came together.  Who knows.  

In the past few days, I seem to have had space and time to calm my mind down, spend time talking to people I love after work, and finally I had a night of dreamless sleep after months of weird, stressful dreams. 

I hope this continues (altho I'm really not that hopeful. will try :p).  Now to put one small addition of an exercise routine back into my schedule.  I am seeing a tummy after months of no exercise.  eeks.

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ameelia
Date: 06-10-2009 17:30
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:working working

I bumped into someone who never fails to amaze me, who just seems to have a way of communicating with people.  Such a great leader, inspires and motivates with big picture, yet bothers to get in touch with ground itty bitty issues.

I wish I could even be a teeny bit more like him when working with my team...

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ameelia
Date: 26-08-2009 18:03
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:sick sick


this week has certainly been not v good.  my sis has described most of it here.

madmoneymonkey.livejournal.com/306552.html

it's the story of her week, but mine's more or less similar too, insert my work schedule instead of hers... and instead of taking care of ellie, it was more of making sure mum was driven to the right place to take care of ellie, helping out with overseas family who came in for the funeral, making sure friend's bday celebration that i was organising still went ahead as planned etc etc.

to top it all off, i came back to a full day programme at work, a programme that i just revamped, and that my new boss was sitting in as participant.

i think i caught my sis' bug too.  felt terrible headache and chills partway through.  popped 2 panadols, lasted through the day, but I'm ready to head home now, my body has strange aches...

there are SO MANY urgent deadlines at work, but i can't work on them now.

tata.

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ameelia
Date: 23-08-2009 01:02
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:tired tired

i feel like i'm in the midst of a juggling act with my schedule for the week.

but i also do realise my poor sister probably has it worse than me.

thank God for wonderful people in our lives to help with the juggling.

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ameelia
Date: 24-07-2009 22:24
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:cheerful cheerful


my lovely sister bought me this pack of scissors that can cut pretty edges... she thought it might be useful for the upcoming children's prog in chiangmai that I'm going to help out with.  actually, her sms to me was that the children will like such a cool teacher... :-D

POP Artz 8pcs 5.5

it was so fun opening the packaging and putting all the scissors into the bag that comes along with it, doesn't matter if i dun use it!  haha. 

looking forward to the trip... whee!

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ameelia
Date: 24-06-2009 13:30
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:content content


 
 
Past few days have been activity-filled, in a good way.  And present-filled too!  Which is always great :)

Lunch at Jing was a nice way to celebrate a milestone bday with my entire family, thanks to my lovely sister who found and booked the place... Was cute that it's my chinese name (only when spelt out in english), plus we had a private room!  altho that was purely a coincidence, not my sis' super planning as we initially thought :-D

Enjoyed the FIRST ever cookyn with mervyn party that I've attended!  They never have space for me!!!  It was organised by a uni friend for her hubby's bday, but she surprised me with a cake too. so sweet of her.

Had the most fantastic evening at Timbre @ old school catching up with... who else, my old schoolmates of cos!

On my bday, had nice bfast with parents, spent the morning sorting out practical errands, watched bit of Ponyo, played with baby Kate then ended off the day with a lovely dinner that came with a fantastic view :-)

The only downside was poor A fell really ill on Sunday, had fever, threw up... so it was bit tiring trying to juggle timing of activities and making sure he was ok.  And I missed having him around for all the celebrations too.  But he's much better now, not H1N1 nor malaria, so that's quite a relief!

This has been running through my head since the evening at Timbre... such a great catchy song!

We Could be Together... )


*super cute bday party picture taken off this website: http://www.wretch.cc/blog/Lionchain
. Can't help but smile when i look at it!

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ameelia
Date: 16-06-2009 08:45
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:thoughtful thoughtful


2 Peter 1:3-8

3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

 5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.


Read this passage because part of it was mentioned in the article linked here...  www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php

It really is so difficult to live in obedience for the common, routine things in life. 

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ameelia
Date: 15-06-2009 14:16
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:stuffed stuffed

WAY TOO MANY MEALS in the month of June..... I am on my way to becoming a roly poly.

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ameelia
Date: 10-06-2009 17:55
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:tired tired

i wish i were the cat in this pic.

when i'm at work, i can't sleep, obviously.

after work, i don't want to sleep because there are just so many things i want to do.

weekends, i get even less sleep because i want to pack in more activities.


AM TIRED.

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ameelia
Date: 20-05-2009 08:30
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:disturbed disturbed

I had the strangest dream just before waking up.  I didn't recognise anyone in the dream, no recollection of faces at all... was as if I was watching a show. 

The first part was where we all ran towards a small rickety wooden hut, but then turned halfway and ran into an old stone house that looks like one of those chalets...  Big storm was coming, we were rushing around to close windows... i remember trying to close the windows tight.  Someone next to me trying to leave it slightly open for air.  There was some other happenings about toiletries (?!) a dog in the chalet, where to put food... but i dun remember those clearly anymore...

Then the scene changed to satan (no kidding! altho i din see any face nor form, but that was how the dream went...) and he had convinced someone to follow him somewhere...

And even more drama, Jesus sat in a car with someone driving and chased after them.  There was a point when the car reached a gate and miraculously the car just went through the gate.  I can still picture the car sort of distorting the gate and going through.

That's where i woke up.  Goodness.

My first thought when I woke up was about how earthly battles are fought in heavenly realms.  Jesus has won the final victory and we shouldn't let satan use us while we are on earth.  Seriously, also not kidding that this went through my mind when I opened my eyes.

Feeling bit tired out now.  Was a rather heavy dream to have just before waking up :p  I think I'm rather strange... But can't control my dreams right...?


Read this passage before leaving for work this morning and it somewhat calmed the strange emotions I was feeling...

John 10: 25 - 30
25Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me, 26but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. 27My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. 29My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. 30I and the Father are one."

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ameelia
Date: 19-05-2009 18:00
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public


Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
 1 O LORD, you have searched me
       and you know me.

 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
       you perceive my thoughts from afar.

 3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
       you are familiar with all my ways.

 4 Before a word is on my tongue
       you know it completely, O LORD.

 5 You hem me in—behind and before;
       you have laid your hand upon me.

 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
       too lofty for me to attain.

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
       Where can I flee from your presence?

 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
       if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
       if I settle on the far side of the sea,

 10 even there your hand will guide me,
       your right hand will hold me fast.

 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
       and the light become night around me,"

 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
       the night will shine like the day,
       for darkness is as light to you.

 13 For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

 15 My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.

 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
       How vast is the sum of them!

 18 Were I to count them,
       they would outnumber the grains of sand.
       When I awake,
       I am still with you.

 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
       Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

 20 They speak of you with evil intent;
       your adversaries misuse your name.

 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
       and abhor those who rise up against you?

 22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
       I count them my enemies.

 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
       test me and know my anxious thoughts.

 24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
       and lead me in the way everlasting.

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ameelia
Date: 09-05-2009 08:30
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:happy happy

There's so much that I love about saturday mornings :)

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ameelia
Date: 07-05-2009 17:15
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:pleased pleased

my brain has returned! 

I am so so so pleased. 

I've been feeling yucks at work, churning out things that are just not of acceptable standard, struggling to meet deadlines, feeling like i'm walking around in a thick mud pool and cannot get out...

I am still way behind on deadlines because of all the backlog... But today, i finally completed a few of these long outstanding things, and at an acceptable standard (at least to me!).  

I feel accomplished and very much happier than I've been for a long time!  *Yay*

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ameelia
Date: 30-04-2009 08:30
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:happy happy

Simply, I Love You - Babbie Mason

I've tried to find the words in my vocabulary
But I've found that rather difficult to do
When I've completed all attempts
The only words that make sense
Are simply, I love You

I've exhausted my search in my dictionary
But Webster's definitions are too few
When I reach the bottom line
The only words that come to mind
Are simply I love You

Bridge
I know Your love is unfathomable
Your ways are unequivocal
Your heart is undeniably true
But it's virtually impossible
To find the perfect syllables
To describe the indescribable You

Verse 2
If I had the wisdom to articulate my feelings
I'd give a lecture impromptu
But I cannot elaborate
Or verbalize enough to say
Simply, I love You
How do I love Thee, I could count forever
And that would really challenge my IQ
So let me make it plain
I'll repeat myself again
Simply, I love You

Bridge

Verse 3
If I had the prudence to expound on my philosophy
I'd pen the greatest thesis of all time
Socrates would envy me, Einstein would read my mind
Multitudes would congregate, to hear me pontificate
Scientists would authorize, the things that I hypothesize
Shakespeare would call me first, before he wrote a single verse
But this is just me, without the ceremony
I mean it so sincerely,
Simply, I love You.


A fren lent me a CD - 'Timeless' by Babbie Mason and I love the whole feel of it.  The way she sings, the rhythm, the words...  This song is especially catchy and fun.  Makes me feel happy :) 

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November 2009